in the grand scheme of things

after months of lying beneath the couch cushions of public curiosity, the time has finally come to turn over the seat covers, grab the remote, and start this show anew; and if you’re lucky, you may even find some spare change and peanut m&m’s™. i’m very excited to be back on the scene, writing my blog, and generating an all round feeling of connection with the world through my online meanderings. i’ve had an incredible past few months, filled with an abundance of growth and change, yet I’m resisting the urge to give a retroactive briefing. instead i will simply move forward from today and keep you abreast (hehe, i said breast) of all things nicki. besides, no one can even prove the past exists...

i hope you like the look and feel of the new site. i couldn’t have done it without the awesome talent, skill, and psychic abilities of my friend and designer Vladimir Krajina. despite having a very distinct sense of what i like aesthetically, having failed to develop such artistic abilities myself, it proves a unique challenge to communicate these ideas to another person - a unique, yet rewarding challenge. i’ve learned so much about myself in the process, making finer distinctions about what i like and why. so hopefully as i evolve, these tastes and revelations will, too, become more and more refined. this is precisely what I wish to share with you.

no but seriously

if you woke up tomorrow and found out you had 24 hours to live, what would you do?  who would you see?  what would you eat?  where would you go? 

why?59161123

i sometimes wonder if we even so much as asked ourselves these questions, how our lives might be different; how we might make different choices or use our resources differently.  to say that it's a lack of awareness that plagues our technologically advanced society seems somewhat irresponsible.  we live in a world where we can communicate to people across the world in seconds.  we are aware more than ever of the troubles and travails of the modern world and yet we hide behind the luxuries of convenience and comfort.   for the most part, it appears people are motivated by the fear of not having what they want, as if they would somehow be less without their belongings, their status, or their illusion of control.  it is my belief that it is not a lack of resources that is at the root cause of problems we face in the world today, but a lack of integrity and critical thought.  even so called 'causes' that so righteously espouse a better way of life are focusing on effects and not causes.  you've heard the old adage about teaching a man to fish.  well nevermind fishing, people need to learn how to think!  it's unfortunate that possessing a brain does not seem to assume its use.  nor does possessing life seem to assume valuing it.  if this were true, do you think we would be killing each other over land, money, power, convenience, jealousy, petty thievery or any other myriad reasons people are dying every day?  i can think of no civilized justification for violence, yet nor do i pretend to not participate in the system that supports it.  i think that to assume that because you've never held a weapon, that you are not responsible for the violence and injustice that occurs in our world, in our society and in our thoughts, is a confusion.  a very dangerous and destructive confusion.  because then who is responsible?  who is at the helm if you will?  if each of us as individuals turns a blind eye on our participation in the whole, there is no integrity and there is no humanity. 

Albert Einstein said it beautifully when he said:
"A human being is a part of the whole called by us universe, a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feeling as something separated from the rest, a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty."

i think it is essential, in order for human evolution to continue, that the citizens of this global community begin to evaluate what's really important in life and in living.  what do you value and why?  and are these values being expressed in everything that you do?