so say we all...

*spoiler alert for anyone who hasn't seen the most up to date episodes. ps. what's wrong with you??*

wow, where to begin.  it's been an interesting journey.  from the  beginning of the series, to the growth and increasing depth of Cally, to finding out she would be killed, to now the whole world finding out!  i am of course saddened, but relieved to finally be able to talk about it, and also excited because "when the Lord closes a door, somewhere He opens a window."  (you'll have to excuse me, i just watched the Sound of Music on the plane home from Germany.)  but yes, the emotional journey i have experienced in the last year has been intense.  starting with a phone call.. the producers, david and ron, kindly broke the news  to me personally.  when their assistant called me to set up the call, my thoughts were: well, they're either calling because they want to congratulate me on becoming one of the leading characters of the upcoming season, or... it was Cally's turn for a dramatic exit into space.  my spidey senses hinted at the latter, but still denial is a wonderful thing.  for a while after i found out, i tried to play it cool, as if it was no big thing, a great opportunity, blah blah blah.. but after enough people asked me with sad eyes how i felt about it, i started to really think about what it meant to me that this part of my life was coming to an end. 

in a very real sense, i did experience a death - of a part of my life that was very special to me.  and in some ways i feel fortunate to have experienced it as such a literal transition off the show, opposed to one day simply being finished.  the actual shooting of my final episode was very moving for me.  i explored parts of myself i hadn't before on film and was able to draw very real parallels between how i was feeling about leaving the show and what Cally was going through in her loss (pill popping and suicide aside, of course.)  tribute to michael nankin, the director of 'the ties that bind,' who generously invested so much of his artistic talent and theatrical vision, and worked with me closely in making Cally's swan song a struggle to remember.  i feel very proud of the work we did and to have had the privilege of collaborating in a way that is rather unusual in tv land.  i think what i found the most moving though, was the support and sensitivity of the people surrounding me.  from Eddie and Mary giving me gifts and cards, to the whole crew sharing their condolences, to the professionalism and dedication of everyone to making quality television.  i don't know that i had such an appreciation of what we share on Battlestar before that experience, and i am grateful for it. 

i would also like to express that it has been HELL trying to keep it a secret for so long!  i was starting to feel like a fugitive!  the writer's strike was somewhat of a saving grace when people were asking me what i was up to.  you see, the trouble with being on such a successful show is even your friends are fans, so i had to be very careful who i spoke to and about what.  my most common strategy was just to be vague and pretend like i didn't really know what was going on, but that gets tiresome and a little weird.  even still there are some of my friends who haven't caught up and i'm like, "just watch the first 3 episodes already!  then we can talk."  some casting directors even got a little flustered when i'd tell them i was available for work on other projects.  but now that it's all out in the open, i feel like we can all be friends again :-)

anyway, i want to thank all of you for your tremendous support and thoughtful messages.  i am the luckiest sci fi star in the universe!   

one flu over the cuckoo's nest

i'm currently recovering from what i can only deduce must be some sort of sick government experiment on the likes of hapless and typically resilient young citizens (don't they know i'm canadian?).  in other words, i've had the worst flu since the time my friend told me about having dengue fever and  i thought i might die just by imagining what he went through.  but seriously, it's been very strange.  i'm not a 'sick' type of person.  like, i wasn't that kid in elementary school who perpetually needed a kleenex but perpetually refused to blow his or her nose.  no, i have always been pretty healthy (and self aware).  but this recent encounter got me thinking a lot about what it means to be sick and how we treat illness in our society.

now, you may think i'm going to talk about why it's important to seize the day when you have your health, to not waste it and appreciate your body blah blah blah.  to be honest, as i lay in bed with a fever and chills and hallucinations of the virgin mary, i was thinking less about my new age postulates, and more about The Price is Right and McDonald's milkshakes.  this, of course, being no coincidence considering that when I was sick enough to stay home from school, my day would consist of watching countless episodes of The Price is Right along with many other pointless daytime shows, until i was on about my third round of Saved by the Bell and my mom would come home with a deliciously moist McDonald's milkshake, or some such treat.  so naturally i felt distraught and somewhat deprived suffering alone in my apartment with no television (yes, it's true) and no loving mom servant to bring me goodies and feel sorry for me. 

what i find most interesting about all of this is how our childhood experiences shape the way we treat and experience our current day illnesses.  i mean, have you ever seen people at their jobs who look like they've just escaped the latest post-apocalyptic zombie movie?  maybe you're even the type to let no sickness slow you down or maybe you're just too prideful to show that you may have a weakness.  whatever the reason, i bet it has something to do with how you were treated when you were wee and cried from a sore throat or tummy ache.  like if you had the parents that told you to just suck it up, or 'if you were too sick to go to school, you were too sick to do anything' - even watch tv!  no thanks!  or perhaps you had the doting self-diagnosers who would accommodate your every whim and give you every treatment they could conjure from the natural home remedy book.  or if you're like chris rock, you'd just throw back some 'tussin and be on with it.  regardless, the options are endless and a source of endless fascination for me.  not only because of how we now react to our own ailments, but because of the reverse implications it has on the sicknesses we endure.  like have you ever had a big project or meeting and inconveniently gotten sick right before?  well what do you expect?  it worked when you were seven!?!  our bodies are incredible machines and they remember stuff like McDonald's milkshakes and soothing Vicks vapor back rubs...

so anyway, i learned the value of treating my body for the ailments it acquires and not indulging in self-deserving sentiment.  i got lots of rest, drank lots of water and got through the sickness in less time than some of my feverish friends.  though possible, i find it rare that one experiences a Bob Barker deficiency, so it's probably not good to go on overload when you're sick.   it is important, however, to notice what the body is trying to tell you and not try to override it with intellect and sheer will.  that can get you into trouble too.  i think it helps to look at how you experienced being sick as a child and if you were treated like a wuss, then suck it up, and if you were told to suck it up, be nicer to yourself. 

happy post-holidaze!

Oh hellooo!

I’m so sorry for being the quintessential absentee blogger as of late.  It’s not you, it’s me…  Really.  In repentance, I promise to do one push up for every time you came to my site and shed a single tear because it wasn’t updated.  And by ‘push up’ I mean sit up, and by ‘sit up’ I mean think about exercising while eating a chocolate.  Sound fair?  Or rather, should it be …  (drum roll please) …  a corn muffin?  (I’m sorry, I know I’m a dork, but I just think life’s more fun that way.)

I hope you all had a wonderful holiday and happy New Year!  I guess it’s about time to start breaking those New Year’s resolutions and telling yourself that 2009 will be your year, no?  It even rhymes: “success will be mine in 2009!”  But then what about “finding a mate in 2008” or “life is great, it’s 2008!”  I tend to think living in the present moment, not to mention year, is probably the best bet, but that’s just my opinion.  I mean, you never know when an advanced race of humanoid robots might come and try to take over the galaxy.  Then how will you find time to go to the gym?

I’ve been thinking about a lot of different things lately, most of which I’ll focus more on in separate entries, but for now I just wanted to say hello, let you know I’m alive and talk about random sh… stuff.  Let me just say, I wish the holiday lasted all year long, and not for the reasons you might think.  I don’t care about getting time off from work because I love my work.  I also don’t feel the need to ‘vacate’ from my every day life because I choose to spend time doing things that are valuable to me, and those things don’t change because it’s Christmas.  But what I do love, and why I think holidays are great, is they are the perfect opportunity and excuse to tell people that are important to you just how much you care.  It’s probably the only time people still use the actual postal service (if even) and we get to think about our friends, wish them a happy holiday, share dinners, stories, gifts and more.  I know it’s not like this for everyone and that some people create a lot of obligation around holidays, but if you don’t and you love how it brings people together like I do, I think you should treat every day like a holiday.  Send people cards, have dinner parties, wear goofy hats, sing silly songs, decorate your house, give people gifts that make you think of them.  This year I walked around New York City with my family on Christmas day and most places I looked, people were just happy.  Maybe because all of the stress from the buying frenzy was over, or the flashy lights and shiny things put them in a trance, or because they were in a city they’d only ever seen on tv before…  Either way I think it should be Christmas every day.  So Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Easter, Valentine’s Day, St. Patrick’s Day, Labor Day, Thanksgiving, whatever.  Just be happy it’s another day you get to be with people you love, do the things that move you, and experience yourself.  That has to be cause for celebration don’t ya think?

Okay, that’s enough for now.  Back to making a list of all the new blog entries coming your way…

fandom-nation

i recently received an email by one of my most dedicated and thoughtful fans. some of you may know him as the creator of the nicki clyne fan site or as the artist behind many a character's cartoon counterpart or you may know him simply as a friend and fellow bsg fan who goes by the name 'solium.'  he wrote to me expressing his thoughts about what it means to be a fan and i thought they were so...  thoughtful, i wanted to share.  :-)  enjoy!

The Hidden Value Of Being A Fan... Of Anything:

I recently read on Nicki Clynes blog how she felt fan mail connected her and the world in ways she never realized before. (I am Paraphrasing of course)

This had me thinking.... what does it mean to be a "fan" and how can it actually benefit ones life and the world we live in?

Fandom other than sports usually gets a bad wrap. All fans are losers or geeks. Fans make up for their failures by worshiping others who are successful, or admiring people (or social circles) they could never be a part of.

However many fans have a good head on their shoulders. They know being a "fan" is a hobby, something to take with a grain of salt and have fun with, and realize the boundaries between being a fan and a fanatic.

While the wonders of fan mail and the Internet have allowed me to correspond with some wonderful talent in the film industry, it has unexpectedly opened a much bigger door to the world around me.

I have made many friends from around the globe. Some are buddies, others are friends, but they all are people just like me. What is the world like? What is a 19 year old like in Germany? What is a 40 year old like in Texas? Strip away politics and religion and one finds people are pretty much the same everywhere.

I have had the pleasure chatting with many fun and interesting people from around the world. Germany, Australia, England, Canada, of course in the US. (among other places)

Like any fan my initial reason for being a "fan" was to let the talent I admire know how much I appreciate their craft. Wouldn't we all like to "get to know" someone who's work we admire? But there are boundaries and one must respect other peoples spaces.

But by being a "fan" I have made friends I can chat with daily, share experiences with, and in retrospect learn about the people of this planet.

If fandom made more friends, think how our concept of the world would change for the better?!

"Other people", in the industrialized world are not unlike myself. (Of course I knew that already) They dream of purchasing a sports car, they have to work and pay bills, worry about the economy and school assignments, are dismayed by wars and share good will for others.

I was going to mention a few of my buddies on here. But I don't want to single anyone out. You all know who you are.

While we share a common interest in fandom and the celebrities we admire and wish to "get to know", I cannot stress the value and significance of chatting with other fans, and becoming friends with all of you."

Chris

Corn Muffin Goodness

geek (gēk)

so i've been having this conversation about what exactly a "geek" is at several of the last conventions i've been to.  it was surprising to me how often the term is used in a self referential way and i started to get obsessed with the idea and trying to figure out if i am, in fact, a full fledged geek.  there have been a few different verdicts along the way and i plan on keeping the discussion open because i think it's fun...  but in my recent web travels i found this great website where you can test your inner geek.  i'm sure some of you will get a kick out of it, and if you are a true geek, you will have already.

i love the interweb

back in business

as exciting and exhilarating as any adventure may be, i have to say that it doesn't get much better than falling into the familiar groove of your own pillow, in your very own sheets, on your very own, warm and comfortable bed.  needless to say, it's nice to be home and to having my clothes in one place, my computer, my books and my work around me, and my friends only a phone call away.  ideally, i'd like to feel as centered and be as productive without all the comforts of civilized life, but it's an ongoing process - one which i was tested on beautifully upon my arrival in Australia.

first of all, the journey itself was prolonged.  due to crappy weather conditions, every flight was delayed for at least a few hours before embarking, adding to the already substantial flights ahead.  i was, however, lucky enough to connect with some comic book artists also en route to convention land (one to the same show and the others to one in melbourne), so we passed the time reminiscing about sci fi, art, fandom and condemning all the closed vendors in the lax airport.  as you can imagine, it was a relief once we finally arrived at the Sydney airport, but our relief was met with what seemed like comedy sketch timing, only to discover that both Brandon's (the comic book artist) and my bags had not successfully accompanied us on our journey.  so we laughed nervously, shrugged, filled out the necessary forms, and continued on our way.  for me it wasn't such a big deal because i was just missing clothes and things, but he had a bunch of art work that he was there to sell so it was a bit of a bummer.  i did learn, though, that what i consider to be 'the essentials' (camera(s), computer, books, journal, phone(s), ipod, wallet, passport... maybe toothbrush) are not necessarily what one needs when they arrive in a humid country after traveling for over 30 hours.  next time i may consider bringing, i don't know, say a change of clothes???  luckily i had a friend who lives in Sydney who was kind enough to lend me some of her threads and Australia is by no means the worst place to have to go shopping.  but shopping for socks and underwear is not at the top of my list of things i want to see and do when visiting a new city...

what i did enjoy was getting to know the other guests.  i thought it was really cool that they brought over a range of talents - comic book artists, voice over actors, video game directors, etc. - and that we all shared a common fan base.  the day after we arrived (still no luggage) we all went to the zoo together and had a blast - getting our pictures taken with koala bears, dodging torrential downpours, and projecting the inner dialogs of the wallabies and wombats.  though i think the animal that had us most in awe was the orangutan.  holy sh*t!  those guys are massive! and yet there's something so graceful and mystical about them.  after staring for a few moments, we all broke out into a bob marley medley.  he had dreads that would probably send vidal sasson into a panic attack...  oh, actors.  i posted a bunch of photos from the zoo in the supanova album.

then the next day, it was off to yet another zoo, only this one had booths instead of cages and the hedgehogs were blue and five times the size.  supanova is definitely the biggest convention i've been to, and yet it managed to maintain the personality and the intimacy of some of the smaller ones i've attended.  everyone i met was super friendly and during the q & a, i was asked extremely thoughtful and interesting questions.  it was really refreshing.  so tribute to everyone who came and said hello, it was such a pleasure to be there.  and the organizers deserve some credit in making everything run so smoothly, amidst what could seem from the outside as something rather chaotic.  i mean, where else do you see chewbaccas wrestling fat mommas while robots casually roam the periphery, and people scrutinize drawings with the seriousness of a rare diamond?  honestly i wish i would have been able to see more.  if only i weren't handcuffed to my table signing autographs the whole time... er... i mean...  well it's standard practice, really.  you know how unruly actors can get.  i think the guy signing next to me, nicky b. from buffy, actually had to be tasered a few times to keep him in line.  those bedroom eyes don't come from good genes alone people.

of course, no supanova  story would be complete without acknowledging the unprecedented singstar fiasco that ensued just before the show's closing.  it was actually my idea (sorry nicky!) haha.  i happen to love karaoke and the 80's with equal fervor, so when i saw what was going on at the singstar booth, it was a natural next move.  though i most definitely lost the game (i wasn't even watching the monitor) i had so much fun pretending to be an 80's pop icon.  i think i was born a little too late, or maybe i'm just making up for lost time, but there's something about synthesizers and asymmetrical hair dos that is really exciting to me.  so instead of joining a support group, i figure singstar is the next best outlet.  and though i dare encourage such embarrassing activity, you can watch our performance on youtube.  i recommend watching it if you're feeling sad, or beating yourself up about not being able to do something, because really it's not about whether you're good or bad at something, it's how you feel about doing it.  and i think that video is a good demonstration of this.  :-)

well, i think i've talked enough for now...  i'm going to another convention next weekend in springfield, massachusetts.  look forward to meeting more of you there!!!

oh, and by the way, if anyone happens upon a suitcase with multi colored polka dots and roller wheels, could you send it my way?  i'm beginning to really miss my sonicare...  ;-)

the taboo against knowing who you are

i've been reading a lot of writings lately about and by alan watts - the philosopher, writer, and all round interesting and insightful human being.  i will likely expand more on his philosophies in the future, but i just wanted to share this cool little video i came across while reading about him on the net.  i think it's so great, and apt for me because i'm starting a business with some friends that i hope will inspire people to think differently about how they approach school, and of course, life.  this may be just a funny little video by the south park guys (are they not genius?) but the message definitely deserves some thought... [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WGoTmNU_5A0&eurl=http%3A%2F%2Fvideo.google.com%2Fvideosearch%3Fhl%3Den%26client%3Dfirefox-a%26rls%3Dorg.mozilla%3Aen-US%3Aofficial%26hs%3Dz7O%26q%3Dsou&feature=player_embedded]

riddle me this

You're travelling to some village. At some point there is a fork in theroad. You could go two ways but only one ofImgp2176_2 them leads to the village. Lucky for you there are two men standing next to the fork. But unfortunately one of them always lies and one always speaks the truth and you do not know who is who. Since the men do not really like to help you, you are allowed to ask one of them only one question. Which question should you ask?

ps. i love riddles.  if you have any good ones, please feel free to share.

the laws have changed

shortly after i finished filming the Battlestar mini series, a friend approached me to be in a music video for his friend's band.  he said they were desperately seeking sensational dancers and since he'd recently seen me do a dance performance to Pat Benatar's heartbreaker, i guess he thought i could fill those boots.  but after listening to the one song, and then the whole New Pornographers' album, i was so impressed and inspired that i didn't want to settle for simply dancing go-go in the background.  so i called the lead singer and pitched him on playing lead vocals in the video.  lucky for me, the girl they had previously hired had bailed to be on canadian idol, so i was allowed my 15 seconds of rockstar fame. the video is based on surrealist filmmaker Luis Bunuel's 1965 film, Simon of the Desert.  at the end of the film, the devil seduces Simon by taking him to a 1960's night club - where the video takes place.  i've heard rumors, though, that the plot twist is an effect of the production running out of funds, since the change setting is completely incongruent with the rest of the film.  kind of curious.

anyway, it was such fun to film and i've been a huge supporter/listener of the New Pornographers ever since.  i recommend checking out their music if you haven't already.

enjoy!

ps. do you recognize "Simon" from the beginning of the Battlestar mini?

[googlevideo=http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=8917316523242074662&ei=iqjZSdXfGImQrAK9p6i3Cg&q=the+laws+have+changed+video&hl=en&client=firefox-a]

hello hola bonjour ciao namaste ni hao

Drawringhello there and welcome to my blog...  don't worry, there's no need to stage an intervention... yet, but i am enjoying the process.  i suppose when my voicemail says "just read my blog already!" then there may be cause for concern.  so i'll try to keep it under control, to a degree of course.  too much control can be no fun. the existence of this blog is due in part to the inspiration of friends, my desire to express and communicate my thoughts and curiosities, and a tribute to those who have supported my efforts and exploration over the years.  hope you enjoy!