It was the last shot of the day. We’d been shooting for hours already and were finally turning around to get coverage of my two lines. The words had all but crumbled in my mind, the result of repetition had drained all weight and meaning. It was like running with a backpack to catch a train, arriving, breathless, only to find the contents had escaped, leaving behind an empty, gaping (laughing?) mouth. All the preparation I’d done was inaccessible to me now, I could only trust my instincts, and the momentum of the moving train. I mustered what energy I had, trying not to squint into the newly positioned lights. There were thoughts, when did I eat last? Did I turn my phone off? And action! Cut. I didn’t make any mistakes or mumble my words, but it was far from brilliant. That fist clenching expression that says, “I nailed it!” was a distant echo from some other movie set. The director came over, and after a brief moment of intense contemplation, he said plainly, “We need more Nicki. That’s why you’re here.” I nodded before he had time to finish. Yes, of course, story of my life. “Just be yourself!” “Oh, that’s so you!” “You’d be so perfect for that role.” But what does that even mean? Can someone please spill the beans because it appears to be obvious to everyone but me? Then I chuckled. In actuality, I am the only one who really knows. I’m the only one alone with my thoughts; with my feelings, my fears, my desires, and my memories—true or untrue. All others see are the sparks—the friction between my soul and my smile, dampened only by the shackles of my yearning to be accepted and understood. But within that desire for identity, within the search for self, is the key to better understanding and experiencing this “me” everyone keeps talking about. So while I really had no idea what the director’s vision was, nor the quality of Nicki-ness he was hoping for, I brushed aside the fear and the judgement and did what I do best: absolutely nothing. I just watched myself experience the moment, with no expectation and no fucking idea what was going to happen. Oh, and… I nailed it.
Godkiller's Killin' It
Dreadcentral had some slightly less than dreadful news about Godkiller's release. Check it out:
It isn't typical for an announcement of a DVD's release date being pushed back to be considered "good news", but in the case of Matt Pizzolo's episodic illustrated film Godkiller, the filmmaker couldn't be more ecstatic. So, what gives?
Retail orders for Halo-8's upcoming Godkiller: Walk Among Us - Episode 1 DVD exceeded studio expectations to the point where the DVD's street date had to be pushed back a week. In order to manufacture enough product to fulfill retail demand and ensure all stores would receive DVDs on the same date, Halo-8 was forced to move Godkiller Episode 1's street date from September 29th to October 6th.
"I'm sincerely astonished," said writer-director Pizzolo. "These episodic DVDs were really supposed to be limited edition collectibles for fans to get at comic conventions and festivals. I mean, it's totally unorthodox to release a film in shortform, serialized DVDs... I never in a million years expected retailers to support it so strongly. I'm pleasantly knocked on my ass."
Read the full article here and here's the newest trailer...
[vimeo]http://vimeo.com/4775725[/vimeo]
new interview!
check out this cool new interview with Jason Anders of Fulle Circle Magazine. hard copies of the magazine will be out soon, which I'm told will have some special cartoon characters for your visual enjoyment, can't wait!
"nameless," not hopeless
i never intended for this space to host a slew of movie reviews, but it just so happens i saw another film last night that left me in a total state of disarray - in the best possible way. i was so impressed by this film, i walked out of the theater feeling as if i'd left a layer of myself inside. i felt vulnerable, struck with a reality i hadn't prepared for, coupled with intense feelings of compassion, sadness, and hope. Cory Fukunaga's remarkable artistry offers a rare, albeit heartbreaking, humanity as he follows the story of two troubled young souls searching for a better life. the story itself is simple, yet Sin Nombre's breathtaking cinematography, spectacular performances, and refined exposition carry us on a journey we don't even know we're on until we turn around to see the dust in our wake, taste the grit in our teeth. despite having been able to discuss the film at length, with passion and conviction, over a dinner i could barely eat, somehow i feel at a loss for words. what it triggered in me was deeply personal. it exposed how my petty concerns lead me to fail in experiencing my own humanity every day; how my fears and lack of inner resolve prevent me from pursuing an honest and noble struggle. with hesitation, i might say it is sometimes difficult to understand the value of life when it is so comfortably preserved by our technologically advanced society. yet to have what we have is not a responsibility to be taken lightly. thoughts of this nature are currently heavily weighted in my mind and i hope my future actions will reflect this continuous processing of what it means to possess such a privilege - the privilege to lead a ponderous existence. i am grateful for the art and expression that provokes such explorations. [youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VTSi0pKjC5g[/youtube]